Here are some tips:
* Keep negative feelings about your own body to yourself.
* Be proud of your body and all it can do. Focus on function!
* Take compliments when they are given to you!
* Stay away from diets. Let your daughters see you eat a healthy and balanced diet every day. Time and time again, the clients who tell me that their children are poor eaters are the worst eaters themselves. Your daughters need to see you eat.
* Model healthy exercise behavior. By taking your kids to Stroller Strides or another healthy exercise program, you are showing your kids that exercise is important to you and that it’s fun!
* Don’t let your children hear you discussing your weight or dieting. Be very careful about conversations with friends. They hear more than you realize!
* Try not to hide your body from your daughter. Be proud of your curves. Being open about your body shows your daughter that you are comfortable and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
* Be careful of the media. Choose your television programs and magazines carefully. Images of waif models and extreme makeovers send definite messages to your daughter about what she should look like.
* Make your children feel beautiful and special every day.
What we won’t do for ourselves, we will do for our children. Take care of yourself for you, for them!
What do you do for “you”? Do you have any good suggestions for other moms?
| July 13th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I’m no longer a new mom, but when I was, I really struggled to find any time for me. I was shocked when my youngest went into middle school I finally had a little no-guilt time for me to do things like workout. Before middle-school I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him with a sitter after working all day, but now he can happily stay by himself. In fact, he often has his homework done by the time I get home — which means we have real free time together.
I have to confess that the years of no-me time took a toll on my shape. I really hope the new moms that read this Blog will take your advice and NOT wait until middle school to do the right thing for themselves!
| July 14th, 2008 at 11:21 am
My children are ages 10, 7, 3.5 boys and 3.5 girl (twin to one of boys), I have to admit that I am horrible at taking time for myself. I rarely if ever get that time unless it is very late at night or crazy early in the morning. I am also a military wife and home engineer/CEO. Right now my husband is serving in a different country.
The ‘me’ time I have now is the gym. I am so very grateful to have found one that will watch my children while I relieve much needed stress. I have also come to the conclusion that part time pre-school is an absolute blessing especially for mom’s who are alone while spouses are always at work or deployed. It is a military wife’s godsend. Though my twins are at preschool only three hours three times a week, I get me time. Even if it is running errands. What do I do???
I go tanning (were I near a beach I’d be there). It is 10 minutes of total relaxation that will not break the bank. Yes, it is HIGHLY discouraged, but my sanity is more important AND I use sunscreen. it is about relaxing not getting a tan. Also, do not ever underestimate the joy of grocery shopping alone. Me time, in a way, I am in a position where I don’t have to say, “get over here”, “no tantrums”, “no, you may not have that junk food”!
On a healthy image point, I keep ALL junk food out of my house. It is NON negotiable. (birthday’s excluded) It is incredibly important that I show my children you can eat healthy and still get carbs that children need. Absolutely no white bread, multi-grain/whole wheat pasta’s, etc. (even my three year olds refuse to eat anything other than that kind of grain). We load up on vegetables either noticed or hidden (thank you Jessica Seinfeld for wonderful idea). My children have even asked after eating “mom what was the secret ingredient”. As for you mom, we only eat red meat every once in a while and pork no more than twice a month and never ever potatos. I make spaghetti with meatballs (turkey or chicken) and usually only eat one cup of pasta and go heavy on the sauce. Finally, I use a saucer or childs bowl for my portions.
I am a novel writer, tend to go that route but I feel I can contribute even if I yammer a bit. Hopefully, my comments may help others. Thank you for such a great post and great idea’s.
| July 14th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I apologize, but I made a typo. We do eat wheat, multi-grain and the like. I did not mean to say we didn’t.
| July 14th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
It may sound crazy, but I went back to school for “me” time. I have three boys, one with serious health issues, one with mild Autism and fine/gross motor issues, and one with the “I’m the littlest look at me” issues!! Having something else to think about, besides all of the health issues that I deal with daily is a break! Studying psychology and human services really helps me to know how to deal with all of the different aspects of having special needs children.
We have recently changed our dieting habits in my family. The way I introduced the idea of “no more junk” is by talking to my boys about just how bad for them the foods that they were eating are. The next step was to take them to the store and show them all of the foods that are good for them and talk to them about ways we can cook different foods. I think the biggest deal was to be really positive and excited about the change. Having a good attitude about the new “diet” really rubbed off on my boys.
In my family we do not tolerate putting down each other. Whether it be about appearances or anything else. Even more important than not putting down each other is not putting down ourselves. Positive self esteem will help children throughout life’s challenges!
| July 16th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I am also like Cheryl, My youngest is just about to enter middle school and no longer really needs me to be at her beck and call.
Although this is a bit of a shock I knew it was comming and now i have time on my hands to devote to myself. After 13 years of being strictly a traditional stay at home mom, I have Joined a Choir and also my husband and I have together joined a Rock band, I have no guilt with this and in fact i think it is great for my girls to see me doing things with friends that is fun and not just as a PAC mom.
| July 25th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I’m a mom who’s always had poor self esteem and body image. No lying needed here. I’ve been so frustrated my entire life fighting genetics that much of my adolescence I fought bulimia, and had serious control issues. Now that I’m an adult, I know I can’t look back on my eating disorders as a way out of my obesity. I’ve been on diet after miserable diet, workout program after program and continue to fail most of the time. I know my daughter hears me, and it’s been a concious effort lately not to degrade myself while I am talking with clients and friends about my issues with weight. I go so far as to call myself names thinking the humor of it will make light of the subject that weighs so heavy on my heart. I am supposed to go see a dietician soon, but that’s still nearly a month away. Life being fat and insecure is so destructive. I hope to get it under control before I pass on this unhealthy view to my daughters.
I’ve printed your list. It’s on my computer table. Thank you…
| July 27th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Your comment so touched me. I’m so glad that our post touched you. What we won’t do for ourselves, we will do for our children. Let’s continue to be kind to our bodies and our spirits so that our children can learn to do the same. Be good to yourself. You deserve it!