Most parents of multiples agree that each year with twins become exponentially easier. I can personally attest to that fact now that my twins are two years old.
I once met a mother of twins who was an anomaly. She told me that things only get harder with time. I wanted to ask her, “Why would you tell a sleep-deprived, new mother of twins that?” Now that Faith and Hope are two, I can confidently and vehemently refute her claim. It’s true that every stage in a child’s life brings new parenting challenges. But there is no physical challenge like parenting newborn multiples. Things DO get easier with time!
As children mature, they naturally become more independent and easier to care for. Faith and Hope can now obey instructions. They can express their needs and wants in words rather than just crying or throwing a fit. They have learned to feed themselves, sleep through the night, play together, and attend to family activities such as reading, crafts, interactive games, and outdoor play. My husband, Chris, and I both admit we are now on Easy Street (or at least Easier Street!).
In addition to the increase in parental sleep and the sheer reduction in baby-care duties, there are more “twin moments” with each passing year. Faith and Hope now ask to kiss each other good-night. They hug each other and say, “I love you.” They also like to walk holding each other’s hand.
These are the twin interactions that every parent of multiples dreams about. They are the stuff from which precious, smile-inducing photos are made. Memories of parenting duties fade in the light of these priceless moments. If you are an expectant or new parent of multiples, you have an amazing future ahead of you!
| November 23rd, 2008 at 6:24 am
I read the profile about you on the UCI website. I also teach at UCI. I am the mother of triplets (plus one), and I am also an identical twin. I feel especially lucky to both be a multiple (identical) and to be the parent of multiples (fraternal). Although the early years are difficult, middle childhood and adulthood are pure joys. I now write books with my twin sister Ellen, a unique opportunity for creative collaboration. And I have the time to do this because my eight-year old triplets are so self-sufficient — they create their own activities, and nothing makes me happier than to be sitting at my kitchen computer while they are inventing new activities at the kitchen table. Multiples create their own social support as they go — a blessing for them and for their mothers. (My mother was also an academic, back in the day when this was very unusual.)
| November 24th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Hi Julia!
I love your perspective on multiples– both as an identical twin and mother of triplets. That’s so fantastic!
I have seen some online resources and even parenting books that recommend parents treat their multiples as if they were never born on the same day. I find these resources quite distrubing! While I stongly believe in promoting individuality, I also believe in celebrating twinship (or supertwinship!). Your post is a great example of how life as a multiple or parent of multiples is pure joy. Hard work at times, yes. But pure joy never the less!
Thanks for sharing!
Khanh-Van
P.S. Julia, I definitely know of you as a distinguished professor and author at UCI! We should get together for lunch sometime!
| November 25th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Hi, Julia!
Thanks for your perspective on multiples. Dr. Greene has twin identical sisters who remain extremely close as adults, so I’ve gotten to witness their special bond. It’s impressive.
Thanks so much for sharing!
C~